Day 14 | Passionate
It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So very deeply.
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I hope you have been following along with me on this self love journey. And writing down all the things you love about yourself in your own journal. It’s never easy to say nice things about ourselves. Funny how nit picking and negativity comes so easy…. but saying loving things is hard and uncomfortable. I bet if we spoke to our friends the way we speak to ourselves, we would be all alone. This project is probably on of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. As the days go by you think it would get easier, like you think you will get used to meditating or working out in the gym. But it never does. Self love is something you have to do daily. The minute you stop, is the minute that you start repeating your old, toxic behaviors. We can easily fall back into our every day normal programming. Please learn to stay aware of your thoughts and be present. If you don’t know how to do this, in the next coming days you will read a blog post on self awareness that will help you. So on to my short story on me loving my passionate self.
I can't even really begin to explain how truly blessed it is to be able to JUST FEEL.
F r o m t h e d e p t h s o f y o u r s o u l.
The passion that comes out is sometimes overbearing. Too hard to handle. Too exciting to keep all inside, yet times you want to hold it all in just to keep it all to yourself because you are so full of bliss and you never want that feeling to end. When I am passionate for something, I can't sleep at night. I let it consume my mind. It takes over me and washes me in pure delight. Sometimes it lasts for only a day. Other times a lifetime. It just depends on what it is at the moment that I am obsessing over. I'm impulsive and I like things to come instantaneously. This causes me to make bad decisions when spending money on things I really don't need. Because I just HAD TO HAVE IT! You tell me there is a sale... and welp ... I'm all over that!! Can anyone relate??!!
It also causes me to give up on working out because if I don't see results quickly, I become discouraged. But if it's truly something that I want ... I won't stop until I get it. I am not afraid to go after what I feel is worth fighting for. It also causes me to have crazy, wild, amazingly HUGE dreams of doing things I would only ever imagine. If I'm not careful enough and don't follow through quickly enough... I let those dreams die. I have to act fast. Make a plan and set goals to conquor. It's just who I am as a person. But I love that when I hold on to that feeling, I make amazing things happen. I'm able to carry it out and create something that is meaningful and heartfelt.
So yes. It's both a blessing and a curse. I'm one that nurtures my friendships as long as you allow me to. It means a lot to have you in my life and I will do anything for you. But I need to know that you appreciate me otherwise I can easily let that friendship dwindle because I am not one to chase after it. And I’m definitely not one for drama in a friendship. I already deal with enough crap in my life soooooooo no thank you. My friendships should always be easy going. The same goes for love. I love with a vengeance. I want all or nothing. I like a challenge because things that come easy become boring to me. Intimacy is a must.
And I’m not just talking about sex, even though that is SUPER important for me, I crave a deeper intimacy. One where you can touch me with your mind. Intriguing conversations are something that I NEED in my life. Being able to converse with someone on a deeper level. Having conversations that can go on for hours. Talks about what your passions are, what your endured in your lifetime, what your fears are, where you see yourself in the future, what makes your soul sing….. That kind of intimacy doesn’t come around very easily. Without it I feel depleted. And being the passionate woman that I am I do crave mornings with feet tangled in the sheets and sloppy kisses that take your breath away. I feel deeply. So very deeply. I could write love songs on your back with my fingers if it meant laying in bed for just one more moment. So very soft and sweet. Or I can greet you at the door and have all of your clothes off before you even enter the house. Fast and Raw. Yes passion comes in so many shapes and forms. Personal. Business. It's all the same.
I yearn for things. Constantly. Always hungry. Always wanting more.
Be passionate about your life and who you are as a person. They say it takes 21 days of consistency to turn something into a habit. Why not make self love a habit? Get out your journal and start writing it all down. Become passionate about loving yourself. That is where it all starts. That is where the beauty lays. Inner happiness.
Thank you for joining my journey in how I have turned negative situations into positive outcomes and how I have become the woman I am today and why I love to photograph women and bring out their inner beauty and help them to see all that they are worth. I hope that you too will become inspired to do the same. With self love comes happiness and the belief that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Model: Me
Photographer: Modern Love Photography
Hair and Makeup: Ashyln Taylor